I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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