Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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