Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I want her autograph on my taint
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Randomize
