Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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