their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
