I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
