This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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