Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
