i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
