Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
