I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
