brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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