from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
