I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
