Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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