I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize