Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
