just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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