we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize