I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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