3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
