"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize