Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
