apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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