if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
There are leaves in my underwear?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
