i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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