i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I FOUND THE LEGS
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
