Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
