margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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