My hair reeks of homosexuality.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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