i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Randomize
