Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
should my penis look like a turkey
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
