i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize