Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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