hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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