dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Slut skills are useful in every country.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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