Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
