O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
