I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
