you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
