Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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