at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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