drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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