Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
