You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
