Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you traded sex for a burrito?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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