so let's talk penis.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
