Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
