A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
This is my gift to your gina
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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