I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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