I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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