You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
