I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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