OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
