Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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