Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
