He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
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Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
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I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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