so explain again why im purple
no
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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