so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
