Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
The power of my boobs compel you
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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